Middle Laners

Here in the UK we have lots of motorways, and you're not allowed on them until you've passed your driving test. The problem is, you are allowed on them as soon as you've passed you've it, and therefore you never need to learn how to drive on them.
"Ah," you say, "but I have a shiny photocard licence with a hologram obscuring my face. Let me loose on the fast wide roads of Britain." And that's where things start to go wrong. For many of the hugely useful car handling skills you learn on your driving test (reversing round a corner, three point turns, travelling at 20 mph) are precisely zero use to you when you trundle down the slip road for the first time.

There are lots of hateful things which happen on motorways - but surely the worst is the Middle Laner. They're peculiar to motorways because if you sit in the "outside lane" of a normal road sooner or later something will come in the other direction and hit you head on and you'll be dead. But on a motorway something happens in the brain of the Middle Laner which paralyses their roadsense node and stops them moving in after they've passed whatever it was on the inside lane.

Two things happen when you are a Middle Laner. First, you identify yourself to everyone else on the motorway as a Bad Driver, and therefore open yourself up to all manner of unsavoury practices such as tailgating, fist shaking, light flashing, undertaking... And secondly, by effectively blocking one lane of the motorway, you increase congestion, cause tailbacks and jams, and therefore create more carbon emissions while we all sit behind you waiting patiently for you to get into the inside lane, you selfish arse.

There are a couple of solutions to this problem. Either anyone in the middle lane is forced to pull over and have their car squashed into a very small cube, then made to walk everywhere for the rest of their lives, or they can simply pull in when they've overtaken, like they would on any other road in the world.

I prefer the car crushing option, but only because the prime culprits are normally driving Rovers and it's the best thing that could happen to them anyway.

Other people have other solutions... http://www.howmotorwayswork.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=239&highlight=&sid=d30a4916b6558f0c858c1ba0b86a7f45 but I don't think they're as fun.