Tube "Drivers"

Yesterday I was busy being a househusband and father-of-two.
In the course of my 12 hour day I was a caterer, entertainer, construction engineer, gardener, judge and jury in the H vs A Castle Custody Battle, cleaner, shopper, etc, etc, etc. My income for this was precisely nothing.

Now the thing is, I don't want paying. I'm very lucky that I can be a father and only work occasionally, and quite a lot from home, and see loads of my kids growing up and indeed be in some way responsible for how they turn out. I'd probably better put in an apology for that now, just in case.

Quite often when I'm working I reflect on how easy it is in comparison to being a parent. You can structure your own time, take breaks pretty much when you want, not have to deal with floods of tears if you say "that'll have to wait a couple of minutes". Criticism is generally constructive, you can swear without fear of the f-word being repeated in front of the vicar the following Sunday. You get five weeks a year off from it, and every day only lasts eight hours.

I have a very nice job, which I've spent years cultivating. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to drive a tube train. Because at a time when inflation is so low it's like an asthmatic wasp is driving the economy, tube drivers are holding out for 5%, plus a guarantee that they can murder every first born in London without fear of prosecution, plus free curly-wurlies for life.*
What are they doing in the cab that could possibly warrant such a job package?

Is it steering these metal monsters? Er, no. That would be done by the rails.
How about stopping them at the stations? Well yes, they do that. But if they were to fall asleep and not stop, then a computer kicks in and stops the train anyway.
How about the passenger announcements? Occasionally you hear a maverick "live" anno, but generally that's done by computer as well.

So we've pretty much got a load of people who are paid £40K each to push a combination of three buttons for eight hours a day. And as mentioned above, a computer could do it for free.

Given this, it may be time for Transport for London to call time on their militant tube drivers, sack the lot of them, and send them home to do a real job.


*This may not be the exact offer on the table.